Having to rely on other people sucks.

I have control issues. There, i said it. I definitely like being in control, but it would seem that i am being placed into positions where i am utterly without control, perhaps to teach me how to deal with it better. It is awesome how things work like that.

So at the moment, i have torn up my knee - ACL and miniscus... :(  I have never had an injury that made me so immobile for so long.

open wide

Insight does not lead to change. Well, i suppose inevitably it does - but the change part is up to the person who gains the insight in the first place. If there was some type of guide book that told us exactly how to incorporate our insights, i think we'd all be pretty boring. The ease of such a thing sounds appealing, but im pretty confident we'd screw it up - in fact i think theres TONS of stuff out there that we just won't get - even if its smack dab in front of us. I think about the bible - and the vast wasteland of "understanding" that comes along with having "all the answers in written form." How could any man claim to understand the very book that ruminates on mans lack of understanding??


I was asked the question - "what does it mean if you aren't in control?"

my answer was something i pulled out of my ass (probably in order to sound like i was on top of things or more - in control... :)

but i'd have to say my real answer is simply that it means i am not in control.

Any sort of judgement i make, or expectation i have, is yet another thought that brings me closer to falling flat on my face in what i "know."

The real control is in the perception of the situation -
so why would i want things to fit in nice little boxes that i have already observed and/or experienced?

I have despised even the thought of stagnancy... and in the same breath stagnated myself with my "knowledge."


To occupy my brain space for now/ thoughts at the moment/ my current mantra...

I'm beginning to think the word "obviously" was invented by something un-human... As if we intrinsically get whatever sentiment follows.




Obliterate the obvious, and replace it with openness. What is obvious will be obliterated - and what is open... 


is...


open.

If you are spending too much time working on something, then when do you get to enjoy it? Trying is my new favorite word not to live. Try is halfway - or not even that. In fact trying for me, ended up detrimental to my living.

Flow. Im feeling that word... let it flow... not try to control.


song lyrics coming out of this? decided to look up that song i heard on the radio earlier...

The song. Cults - Abducted...

Multitasking -

This year, i got pumpkin leaf bags - fun stuff to do with the kids, cheap and a fun way to clean up the yard.

get up.

It is time to get up. Get on your feet and start moving, start doing. Start living your life. If you never do anything, how can you be anything?

Being.

Thinking,

Doing,

and 

BEING.

I'm thinking that doing the last part of this equation is key.

Being. Time to be. Oh, and here now as well.